


All We Lost, All We Regained

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5 Times, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Repressed Memories, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 06:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7834576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiro’s mind was a muddled mess with splotches of black emptiness and bright colorful images that made no sense. He knew he couldn’t recall certain aspects from his imprisonment, most likely repressing memories that would make his body ache and his mind spin. As he awakes and sees the look of concern plastered across the face of a raven-haired cadet, he realizes he may be forgetting something important. (Alternatively, the 5 times Shiro forgot Keith, and the one time he remembered.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	All We Lost, All We Regained

**Author's Note:**

> My take on the whole amnesiac Shiro trope that is going around! First Voltron fic I'm posting but I promise I have a lot more planned.

**1\. Before Kerberos**

 

Shiro didn’t recognize the name on the slip of paper he received. He knew his partner for this assignment was an underclassmen, but he thought he knew a majority of the pilots at the academy. He hummed to himself, looking around the classroom until his eyes landed on the dark-haired male walking towards him.

“Are you Shiro?” the shorter man asked.

Shiro nodded, offering him a hand and a small smile. Keith hesitated for a moment, before taking the hand and a small upturn of his lips.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

 

**2\. Coming Home**

 

The first thing Shiro felt when he woke up was warmth. Gradually, he felt the heaviness of his limbs, and the exhaustion seeping into his his being, but the thing that kept him grounded was the warm hand tucked inside his own.

He forced his eyes open, looking down at the sleeping man clutching his hand. He had a shock of black hair and a crease between his brows while he slept. Gently, Shiro extracted his hand from the sleep-loosened grasp. He looked around the small house and caught the glances of several people, giving him eager, curious looks.

“You’re finally awake,” the shortest one spoke up first. “How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted,” he replied honestly, slowly shifting and sitting up. “Where are we? Who are you guys?”

“We’re in his place,” he points to the sleeping figure before continuing, “and we were just curious people in the right place at the right time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he responded with a snort. “We were just watching the stars and then we saw you crash--”

They both go silent as the dark-haired man wakes, quickly lifting his head and blinking the sleep from his eyes. He looks up, expressive blue eyes widening as he caught Shiro’s eyes. He was up in an instant, hands finding his scarred face.

“You’re here,” he murmured. “You’re actually here.”

Shiro pulled away from the touch, ignoring the flicker of hurt in the stranger’s eyes. The stranger didn’t speak, just allowed his hands to drop to his sides and stepping back, unable to meet the older man’s eyes.

“As much fun as this love fest is, can we discuss what the hell happened?”

“Lance,” another voice spoke up, reprimanding the tall lanky man who spoke.

“What? Hunk, he has been missing a year and arrived on an _alien_ ship. I don’t know about you, but I want some answers.”

“I wish I had some answers to give you,” the white haired man interrupted. “I don’t remember much.”

“What _do_ you remember?” the shorter man from before piped in. “Do you remember what happened to your crew?”

“No,” he took a deep breath. “I vaguely remembered being imprisoned shortly after we landed on Kerberos. I don’t know where they were taken, or if they made it out with me.”

Silence stretched across the room for a moment before Shiro spoke up again.

“Whatever is going on, I think we should figure it out. Together.”

“I agree. Maybe we should try this again. I’m Pidge,” he swept an arm to the side to the other two men. “As stated earlier, this is Lance and Hunk.”

“Right. I’m Shiro,” he gave them a small nod and smile, before turning to the quiet man on the opposite side of the trio. “And you are?”

The unnamed man looked startled, hesitating before letting out a very quiet, “You don’t remember?”

“I’m afraid I don’t,” he frowned. “Did we know each other at the academy?”

“Something like that,” the man mumbled. “It’s Keith.”

“Well,” he gave Keith the warmest smile he could muster. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Shiro couldn't help but wish he had looked away in time when he saw the red-clad man flinch and the way his shoulders instantly dropped.

 

 

  
**3\. Think Alike**

 

“I miss my family,” Lance whined, for probably the thousandth time.

“We’ll see them when this is over,” Hunk’s easy reply came.

“I hope so,” Pidge chipped in, letting out a quiet sigh.

“Well,” Shiro leaned back in his chair, giving Lance his signature smile. “Why don’t you tell us about them? You always say how much you miss them, but never tell what you miss about them.”

“What I miss?” Lance’s eyes lit up. “Well, I miss going on big family outings. We used to go to this cabin in the woods in the fall, right before it got too cold. It was a small cabin with only two bedrooms, so having a family of eight staying there was crazy. My mom always got one of the rooms, and my grandmother got the other. The kids would put up tents outside and get a bonfire going and we’d tell ghost stories to scare the younger ones. By the morning, we’d all be exhausted and covered in mosquito bites and dirt.”

“I miss playing card games with my younger sister,” Hunk chimed in. “She would get super competitive, but she wasn’t the best player at any card game. So I would be winning for most of the game and listening to her huff and puff, and right at the very end I would let her win. The look on her face was worth the teasing for the rest of the week.”

“We had a dog,” Pidge speaks this time. “Matt and I would take him to the park and throw frisbees back and forth to confuse the poor thing. As soon as he would get close to Matt, the frisbee would be in my hand and he would just run back and forth until he got tired and plopped down in the grass. He could never figure out how to get the frisbee, but that never stopped him from trying.”

“That sounds great,” Shiro said, softly. “I miss the lake. When I was little, my parents tried to teach me how to swim. I remember being so terrified.”

“Of drowning?” Lance snorted.

“No, actually,” Shiro chuckled. “I was terrified the fish would eat me. Cut me some slack, Lance, I was five.”

“How big did you think fish were?”

“Apparently, bigger than me. All I know, is it took me like three years to finally be able to swim, and even then it was doggy paddling. My mom was never so proud,” the group laughed before Shiro continued. “How about you, Keith?”

“I, uh,” Keith grimaced. “I don’t really have an actual family. I had someone I considered family, though. I miss watching the stars. He knew all about them; constellations, planets, moons. He was very passionate. He’s also the one who told me I did have a family. That blood doesn’t determine who my family is, I do. So I should--”

“Choose them wisely,” they finished together.

They shared a glance, Keith’s eyes lighting up for the first time and Shiro’s eyes widening and confusion.

“Why did I know that? I don’t remember where I heard that.”

“Shiro--”

Before Keith could continue, the ship's alarms went off.

 

  
**4\. Close Call**  


Keith had a gut feeling that this mission wasn’t going to go well. He was sidetracked and his emotions weren’t tightly bottled like they usually were, which caused him to lash out at his team and caused a further divot between them. He wanted to apologize, wanted to explain why he was so stressed, but as he caught Shiro’s disappointed glance his way, he shut his mouth and ground his teeth together until they ached as much as his heart.

Keith’s gut was proven right soon enough. He was paired with Pidge, who was busy stealing Galran intel while Keith was fighting off the ever-growing amount of soldiers trying to get through the door.

“Pidge, are you almost done?” he grimaced at how airy his voice sounded as he swung his bayard again.

“Done!” they shouted, snapping their laptop shut.

“Then get out! Quick! I can’t hold them much longer.”

Pidge slid through the other door, just as the alarms went off and the door slammed shut behind them. They cursed loudly through the comms, beating at the door and shouting Keith’s name as Keith was backed into the room now without an exit.

“Keith!” It was Shiro this time shouting through their communications. “Keith, do you read?”

“I read you,” Keith panted, his arms growing tired as he downed yet another soldier. “Are you all safe?”

“Are we all-- _Keith_ ,” Shiro took in a deep breath, “we are just fine. We need to find a way for you to get out. If we send Lance and Hunk--”

“Negative,” Keith quickly snapped, letting out a gasp of pain as a Galra footsoldier landed a hit. “It’s too dangerous. You guys need to get out of here.”

“We are _not_ leaving you behind,” Lance piped in, angrily.

“You guys don’t have a choice,” Keith murmured, barely audible above the sounds of his fighting.

“Just hang on,” Shiro pleaded. “We will figure something out.”

One of the Galran soldiers fired and Keith felt a searing pain in his side, a choked noise leaving his throat as blood blossomed from the wound. He heard shouts of his name from the comms, but they sounded too far away. He knew there was no way he’d survive this now, but he wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“You guys need to get out of here,” Keith repeated, slashing through the last remaining robot, but hearing the rush of feet from more on their way.

He went down on his knees, body growing numb and cold from the blood loss of his multiple wounds.

“Besides,” he forced himself to speak to his crew, even as he let out a wet cough, “there is no way I’ll live long enough for you guys to get here.”

“Keith,” Shiro begged.

“I had so much to tell you, Shiro. Should have done it when I had the chance.”

“You still do, just stay awake, okay? We’re on our way.”

“Wish you remembered me,” Keith whispered. “Wish you remembered us.”

“Keith, save your strength,” Shiro commanded, his voice cracking.

“‘m sorry, Sh’o,” he slurred, vaguely hearing what sounded like a broken sob before his vision finally went black and still.

 

 

**5\. Sense of Touch**

 

Keith was falling, before being tucked into a soothing warmth. He didn’t hurt anymore, but he was tired, his body heavy. He sighed softly, enjoying the warmth seeping into his bones before finally opening his eyes and cringing at the brightness of the lights and closing them again.

“Keith?” someone asked, voice too loud. “Keith, look at me.”

“Too bright,” he complained softly, a hum leaving him as he felt a hand on his cheek, tilting his head upward.

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes, focusing on the figure holding him. He smiled, albeit sleepily as he realized it was Shiro holding him.

“How are you feeling?” Shiro said, voice softer, a smile playing on his lips as well.

“Exhausted,” Keith admitted, leaning into Shiro’s grasp. “Glad you’re here though.”

Shiro stiffened in surprise at the other’s actions and words, but didn’t shy away, too worried Keith would collapse if he didn’t bear his weight. He helped the exhausted man stand.

“How did you save me?” the smaller asked, curiously.

“I, uh,” Shiro started, sheepishly. “After we heard you collapse, we all kind of went into action in an attempt to save you.”

“By ‘we’ he means mostly him,” Pidge spoke from the doorway as they walked in. “Sure, we tried to help, but we were mostly trying to keep up with him as he fought his way to you.”

“You guys helped a lot more than you give yourself credit for,” Shiro insisted.

“Sure we did,” Pidge teased. “Especially after you carried Keith like a princess to the ship while we watched your back.”

Keith gave a huff of laughter while the two went back and forth. He slipped his hand into Shiro’s before he really knew what he was doing. Their hands fit perfectly, just like they used to. Keith gave the hand a soft squeeze while enjoying the warmth as he relaxed for the first time in months.

Suddenly, the hand was yanked away and Keith came back to the present, looking up and noticing the look of confusion Shiro was giving him and the look of pity written all over Pidge’s features. Keith felt like he was burned, unable to look at either of their faces as his heart felt like it was going to stop.

“Sorry, Keith,” Shiro picked his words carefully,  “that kind of thing is more for couples, not friends.”

“Right,” Keith’s voice was too soft. “I forgot.”

“Keith,” this time it was Pidge who spoke. “Why don’t you just tell him?”

“Why bother?” Keith sighed, shoulders dropping.  “He doesn’t remember, it wouldn’t matter.”

“Tell me what? What are you guys talking about?”

“Shiro, you honestly don’t remember--”

“Pidge,” he pleaded, “just leave it.”

“But, Keith--”

“I’m tired,” Keith interrupted. “I’m going to bed. Don’t wake me for dinner.”

Keith was halfway through the room before Shiro grabbed his arm and turned him around, eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he saw the wounded look in the smaller man’s eyes.

“Keith? I didn’t mean to upset you,” Shiro’s voice was gentle. “Can we talk instead of you walking away?”

It was too much for him and this time it was him, yanking his arm out of Shiro’s grasp and taking a step back.

“Oh, that’s rich,” Keith let out a bitter laugh. “You used to say that same line whenever we fought before you went to Kerberos.”

“Keith--”

“But you don’t remember that, do you? You don’t remember me at all. It’s not fair, Takashi,” Keith paused, taking in a shuddered breath as he fought with his emotions. “Just leave me alone. Please.”

This time, nobody made a move to stop Keith from walking out the door.

 

 

**+1. What The Future Brings**

 

“Hey, Hunk?” Lance’s voice interrupted Shiro’s inner mulling. “Remember when I said I wanted to be remembered in the future?”

“Yeah?” Hunk answered in between chewing his food.

“This was definitely not what I meant.”

They broke into laughter, nudging each other with their elbows while they ate and they continued with their conversation.

“I remember you said you were going to pick up so many chicks as a fighter pilot,” Hunk teased. “Where are they, Lance?”

“I’m working on it! Except now they will be alien chicks,” Lance replied without hesitation. “What about you, Hunk? You said you were going to be a world famous engineer.”

“I think my exact words were ‘out of this world engineer’ and I think that’s exactly what I ended up.”

“I remember I wanted to be a teacher,” Coran chimed in. “I would teach all the younger Altean’s all the information I could provide about mechanical needs.”

“I wanted to lead the army,” Allura spoke up, listening to Lance and Hunk mumble in surprise before continuing. “I just thought it would be cool.”

“I had plans for being a scientist. I wanted to come up with new programs for pilots to use,” Pidge shrugged. “Didn’t really want to become famous, just wanted to use my knowledge for something good.”

“What about you, Shiro? What were your plans for the future?”

Shiro paused, combing through his memories in an effort to remember.

“I remember I wanted the Kerberos mission to be super successful,” he started. “I wanted to be able to retire young. I still wanted to pilot, of course, but I wanted to be able to not worry about money and being able to relax and live like we had dreamed. A small house in the middle of nowhere that we’d fix up, a bike to be able to make runs for necessities, and a dog. Keith always wanted a dog.”

The room grew quiet as Shiro’s eyes widen in realization as his words sunk in. The others give him a knowing look as his mind reels with the sudden onslaught of memories returning. When his mind settled, he stood up, albeit shakingly.

“I-I need to go.”

“Go to him,” Allura said, patting his shoulder and giving him a nod.

“About time,” Lance murmurs as Shiro darts out the door.

 

He finds Keith on the sparring deck, locked in a battle against the gladiator. He moves gracefully, but mostly using his instincts to defeat the enemy. He was a lot better than he was back at the Garrison.

“End training sequence,” Shiro called.

Keith looked up, expression becoming closed off as he sees Shiro walking up to him. Shiro’s heart aches, realizing for the first time how much he had hurt his lover.

“Keith,” he starts, taking in a deep breath. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t,” Keith begs, taking a step back. “Honestly, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Please,” Shiro begged.

Keith paused, not used to Shiro raising his voice. He let out a soft sigh, looking at Shiro and allowing him to continue.

“You wanted to paint the shack bright red,” Shiro blurted out. “I refused right away but you had already bought the paint. So we compromised and decided that you’d paint the porch.”

“I was going to paint it while you were gone,” Keith whispered. “See your surprise when you got home.”

“But I never came home.”

“But you never did. You remember everything now?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry,” Shiro repeated, finally reaching out to Keith.

Keith let himself be brought into Shiro’s arms, feeling the pain in his heart ease as Shiro’s warmth engulfed him. His throat closes up, but he refuses to cry. Instead, he brings his arms around his lover and not letting go.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Shiro murmurs, placing a kiss against Keith’s forehead.

“I knew you were repressing some of your memories,” Keith admitted. “I didn’t want to risk you remembering something that would hurt you. And who knows if you would have remembered even if I told you? I wouldn’t want you to live with that guilt if you couldn’t remember.”

Shiro’s breath hitched and finally he was putting his lips onto Keith’s. Keith relaxed completely in his grasp, arms wrapping around the taller man’s neck. They stuck to each other like glue for what may have been hours but neither cared. When they finally pulled away, both exhausted and hungry, they shared a smile, eyes full of nothing but love and affection.

“I love you,” Shiro whispered.

“I love you too,” Keith whispered back without any hesitation.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: smolbananthony.tumblr.com


End file.
